Wednesday, December 25, 2019

Tis the season for reflecting


I have spent Christmas in Canada, Ireland, Sudan, Kenya, Ethiopia, the UAE, Tunisia, Qatar, Bangladesh and Lebanon. I have spent many of these Christmases with lots of you my dear blog readers. This Christmas morning of 2019, I am back in the land of my birth, enjoying the space of my very own home and appreciating that for the first time in my 40 years on this earth I spend the morning alone. It feels like a very important step on my journey of 2019 and the bringing to the end this decade. The most important lesson of 2019 for me has been that ultimately the only person to whom I am accountable is me, and so I know that I am exactly where I am supposed to be. I use a food analogy of my deep love of gluten foods and dairy – 2019 has taught me that despite my love for these foods, they do not serve me and cause me pain. Learning to live without them and finding alternatives is soul nurturing and is enabling me to grow as a person. I have spent much time in the past decade using energy to try to achieve what I thought was required of me (I have reflected on this in all the blog posts of 2019), and now after my true inward journey I want 2020 to be an enlargement of true acceptance of who I am and what I want. 

I have spent much of the last few weeks reflecting on the true meaning of the Christmas season, especially that for the first time I was not focused on the material aspects of gift purchasing and following protocols. My reflection was linked to my mantra for this year which is empathy and the idea of creating connections with others through dialogue and understanding. I had an opportunity to volunteer this past Saturday with the BC Labour Organization helping to pack Christmas hampers and organize their annual Christmas dinner for homeless and low-income people and families. It felt so wonderful to be able to do something that was for someone else. As all the volunteers worked together to organize a huge amount of food, gift donations and logistics for the dinner, the sentiment everyone shared was how well things worked when cooperation happened, but most importantly when ego was not in the drivers’ seat. Of course, one could argue that even volunteering is a selfish act because it makes a person feel good, but I have learned in these past few months (and reflected here in a blog post) that selfishness is not negative if it comes from a secure sense of self. It was a wonderful feeling working with others who had also reflected on the meaning of Christmas especially for those who have so little. The most powerful observation I had was that many of the people volunteering had themselves been helped by the Labour Organization or by another non-profit, were former refugees, or like me had life teach them the value of empathy and connection beyond the ego. It has made for a wonderful Christmas for me generating these connections and ones which I hope to explore more in 2020. 

Last night I spent a wonderful Christmas Eve with 15 other people, including 4 children. I introduced them to the Twelves Days of Christmas by Frank Kelly – if you don’t know this version please give yourself a laugh and watch the video in the link. I am blessed to have made strong connections here in Vancouver and to keep deepening the narrative of my life’s journey. My dear blog readers, you have all touched my life in some way over the years and I am grateful for that knowledge, even if it is a virtual connection at present. I wish you all a wonderful holiday season wherever you are in the world and all the very best for the new year and new decade!

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