Dear Jo,
You might laugh mum that I am addressing this blog 'Dear Jo' rather than 'Dear mum', I purposely choose to use your name because I want to acknowledge that your brief stop in this life was multifaceted and touched so many souls. I am incredibly and deeply grateful for the fact that I called you mum and that you gave me life, but you were a daughter, a sister, a scholar, an adventurer, a reader, a writer, a teacher, a friend, a mentor, and most of all a inspiration to anyone who had the gift of having you in their life. You are now a grandmother to the most incredible little person who already embodies so much of your spirit, as Dara embodies your motherly strength.
In life you taught me strength, independence and to have a deep curiousity for life. You, me and others who knew you know what you brought to all of us. You were the eternal teacher both in and out of the classroom, and I know for a fact that me finding myself a vocation in education is a direct result of your inspiration. I was a difficult student, as you can certainly affirm, but you never gave up on me - this lesson is powerful, that we should never make assumptions about others' abilities and strengths because every person bring their own uniqueness to the world. I thank you for this valuable life lesson and am thankful that I work in a context where I can practice this daily.
In your death mum you have given me even more. For the initial years I was consumed by losing you and my own self-pity in terms of my health. I hardened my heart and turned away from the world. April 11th always brought me great pain, but the past year has brought incredible change both physically and emotionally. My health has improved and I have answers to the causes. Most of all though circumstances in my life forced me to confront so many layers of hurt within me, and in doing so I constructed a fuller narrative of the person who you were from those who knew and loved you best. Your life's narrative was so incredible Jo, you truly astound and inspire me, in both what I already said above, but also in accepting your humanity imperfect as it was. You used to always say to me, "don't be so hard on yourself Siobh", and I sense now that you needed to embody that same sentiment onto yourself. You strived so hard to be yourself, but at the same time you struggled against the norms, conventions and expectations of society, and this troubled you deeply at some level. The most difficult process in life is to truly and completely accept ourselves as imperfect humans, and that our so called 'flaws' are what make us interesting and give us the passion for life. In your death you have taught me this lesson Jo, and there are no words that will ever enable me to express the calm acceptance that this lesson/gift brings.
I spent my 40th birthday on the Big Island of Hawaii and for the first time since your death I felt able to truly grieve and celebrate you mum. As I sat on a patio with Marlo on the south of the island enjoying the beautiful sunset, we spoke of you - I said it to Marlo, I am and will be forever grateful to have had you in my life for 36 years and would not change that for anything. Your imperfections are what made you the most human of humans Jo and I love you even more than I thought possible through accepting the complete narrative. Thank you for everything Jo.
Lots of love always,
Your daughter, friend and biggest fan
You might laugh mum that I am addressing this blog 'Dear Jo' rather than 'Dear mum', I purposely choose to use your name because I want to acknowledge that your brief stop in this life was multifaceted and touched so many souls. I am incredibly and deeply grateful for the fact that I called you mum and that you gave me life, but you were a daughter, a sister, a scholar, an adventurer, a reader, a writer, a teacher, a friend, a mentor, and most of all a inspiration to anyone who had the gift of having you in their life. You are now a grandmother to the most incredible little person who already embodies so much of your spirit, as Dara embodies your motherly strength.
In life you taught me strength, independence and to have a deep curiousity for life. You, me and others who knew you know what you brought to all of us. You were the eternal teacher both in and out of the classroom, and I know for a fact that me finding myself a vocation in education is a direct result of your inspiration. I was a difficult student, as you can certainly affirm, but you never gave up on me - this lesson is powerful, that we should never make assumptions about others' abilities and strengths because every person bring their own uniqueness to the world. I thank you for this valuable life lesson and am thankful that I work in a context where I can practice this daily.
In your death mum you have given me even more. For the initial years I was consumed by losing you and my own self-pity in terms of my health. I hardened my heart and turned away from the world. April 11th always brought me great pain, but the past year has brought incredible change both physically and emotionally. My health has improved and I have answers to the causes. Most of all though circumstances in my life forced me to confront so many layers of hurt within me, and in doing so I constructed a fuller narrative of the person who you were from those who knew and loved you best. Your life's narrative was so incredible Jo, you truly astound and inspire me, in both what I already said above, but also in accepting your humanity imperfect as it was. You used to always say to me, "don't be so hard on yourself Siobh", and I sense now that you needed to embody that same sentiment onto yourself. You strived so hard to be yourself, but at the same time you struggled against the norms, conventions and expectations of society, and this troubled you deeply at some level. The most difficult process in life is to truly and completely accept ourselves as imperfect humans, and that our so called 'flaws' are what make us interesting and give us the passion for life. In your death you have taught me this lesson Jo, and there are no words that will ever enable me to express the calm acceptance that this lesson/gift brings.
I spent my 40th birthday on the Big Island of Hawaii and for the first time since your death I felt able to truly grieve and celebrate you mum. As I sat on a patio with Marlo on the south of the island enjoying the beautiful sunset, we spoke of you - I said it to Marlo, I am and will be forever grateful to have had you in my life for 36 years and would not change that for anything. Your imperfections are what made you the most human of humans Jo and I love you even more than I thought possible through accepting the complete narrative. Thank you for everything Jo.
Lots of love always,
Your daughter, friend and biggest fan
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